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“Circle time!” My kindergarten teacher’s unusually high, lispy voice echoed in my small ears as I ducked under the playhouse door and cast aside my apron. I played the mom on Tuesdays. I took my spot in what I now remember as an oval as opposed to a circle. The carpet was a strange mix […]

What #adulting Doesn’t Mean

I have blogged earlier this week about the #adulting phenomenon in which millennials find themselves. You can read those posts here and here. But right now, I want to talk about what #adulting doesn’t mean. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy some candy on Halloween (or steal your kids’). It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed […]

Mail in a Pile on the Counter

Time is bizarre.  It’s something we can spend and save, make and waste, choose and lose. We can have too much, but mostly have too little. Time can fly, and time can also crawl. It moves systematically forward but never backward, and it never, ever stops.   The concept of time makes my brain hurt sometimes. […]

The Dum Dum Dilemma

You know how restaurants sometimes have those mints you can grab as you walk out the door?  As a kid, I thought it was cool. Free candy, you know? Now that I’m an adult, I understand exactly what they are there for. Lunch meetings. And you’re the poor sap that ordered something with garlic or […]

Kentucky Fried Adulting

Nothing quite says #adulting like a teenager’s first job. Especially when that job is fast food. I suppose there was certain irony in the fact that I began the first pages of this section sitting in the lobby of a McDonald’s. At the time, I had intentions of drafting an entire book around my experiences […]

Without my Mommy

I was 18, attending my first college orientation, and shoved into a large computer lab with other confused adolescents… without my mommy.
Not. Cool. 

Does Adulting mean Becoming your Parents??

Does adulting mean becoming your parents? Sometimes something flies out of my mouth and I have to race to the mirror to make sure I haven’t turned into my mother. …or my father. Does adulting mean I need a specific table cloth for every holiday? Do I need to buy fancy Christmas china and gold […]

The Fart Box

Professional. /prəˈfeSH(ə)n(ə)l/. Adjective. Relating to or connected with a profession. “Young professional people.” Synonyms: White Collar, executive. Nonmanual. “People in professional occupations.”

Preschool Style

The concept of friendship is almost bizarre if you really think about it. What’s the moment your relationship with another human being suddenly moves beyond an acquaintance or coworker or stranger and into this friendship zone that comes along with a certain understanding of each other? What drop of rain overflows the bucket? As a […]

And for My Next Trick: 10,000 Followers Will Fly Out My Ass

Maybe it’s time I join the circus. At this point, I’m damn good at juggling. Even as I type, I have about seven things floating above my head that I’m going to need to catch and toss again in a few seconds. I’ll use my feet if I must. It’s fine. I’ve done it before. […]