The Forks We Find

I am officially on day “Finding Forks in my Paperwork” of quarantine.

I must admit, the two things I am doing most throughout lockdown are eating and writing. Sometimes even at the same time. And there’s nothing classier than licking molten cheese off your keyboard.

For those of us fortunate enough to be working from home, I am certain many will struggle with the transition back to normal office life after the ‘rona rescinds and we emerge from the darkness of our homes. In a way, we have been able to take a vacation from adulting. While it will be nice to rekindle a sense of normalcy and reconnect with the world, there are several things I am completely dreading about returning to corporate.

  1. I must wear pants at all times.
  2. I should probably shower daily.
  3. It is most likely not acceptable to have The Office playing in the background as I work.
  4. Pooping in a public restroom again is going to suck.
  5. A 3 pm desk cocktail is probably frowned upon.
  6. My dog is going to wonder why I don’t want to hang out with her anymore.
  7. I will be judged for keeping a party-size box of extra toasty Cheez-Itz on my desk.
  8. It’s peopley there.  
  9. It won’t be sanitary to lick the molten cheese off my work keyboard.
  10. People probably will not appreciate finding forks in the filing cabinets nearly as much as I do.

Here’s to the transition back, whenever that may be. Our reality is quite unpredictable right now. The best we can do is stay positive, take it one day at a time, and laugh at the forks we find along the way.

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